MAY NOTES
The beginning of May marked the time to go back to my home country. Given the circumstances, the trip back home happens only once a year, but the stay is a little bit longer. This year will be the first exception as in December there will (most probably) be a second trip. Even though I do not have any actual creative updates to share, there are a few bits that are related to the theme and thought it would be interesting to bring up.
BACK HOME
Being back home is always such an experience that changes as years pass. Right after moving to the Netherlands, I still longed for my room and certain aspects of my previous life. As time passed and coming back home only once a year for a month, things and people started slowly, yet surely to change together with my perspective. After 4 years of living in a different country, I can say that I am not that homesick anymore. Yes, I am homesick after a version of my old life, but my current life that I have built with my partner is what I dreamed of when I was a teenager.
NOTES ON NOSTALGIA
While being back home, I decided to clean up my room and throw away or donate everything that I do not need anymore. In this process, I found a number of old drawings from various stages of my life. The one thing they all have in common is the freedom of judgement. Back in the day, regardless of being a young child or a teenager, I used to draw without any obstacles. Once the idea popped in my mind or I was amazed by something in particular, I would instantly put it on paper. I did not care if the drawing did not come out a certain way, if the process was fun (and let me tell you, I loved every second of it) then that was all that mattered. On many occasions, I was so proud of my final product and would truly believe in myself.
That changed over the years, be it social media, various experiences and my relationship with myself. All of these elements can affect you immensely and influence your behaviour and personality, which applied to me as well. Lately, all of my creations were carefully planned, made for productivity reasons and by following certain “rules” to make them more appealing. Rather than enjoying the process and getting to experiment, I would rather drag myself down. This brought me in a constant state of procrastination as I was afraid to start anything new because I kept telling myself it will not come out good enough.
There comes a time when the “childhood filter” wears off and your perspective changes. You get to see the world differently and sometimes it can look uglier. It is up to us what we choose to keep and what not to. Certain aspects can be helpful to keep from your “childhood filter”, such as creating any kind of artworks without judgement. There must be a bit of time to play and not only work towards something.
MISC.
Video Games and Books: This month there was no real time to indulge a book nor a video game as a lot of other different things had priority. Once I am back to my regular routine and have a more structured schedule, I can dive back into Professor Layton’s world and continue with “Klara and the Sun”.
Movies/Shows: After many years, I finally managed to watch “La La Land”. I am not a big fan of musicals, but after hearing so many good things about it, I thought of giving it a shot. Oh man, it was such a ride. The musical bit was not exaggerated and fit really well in the story and with the characters. It was a rollercoaster of feelings and that ending wrecked me. I also found out that this song, which I enjoy very much, contains lines from the movie. Did not expect to like the movie so much and to be so moved by it.
“Notting Hill” was a fun and romantic movie for an evening where you would like something easy to watch. Not a big fan of Julia Roberts in this one, but really enjoyed Hugh Grant’s character and family.
Music: Given I had a lot of walking to do in the city, music was my best friend on the way. My “Liked Songs” playlist on Spotify was on shuffle. It is a good way to remember some of the older songs and also to look for new songs by using the song radio option. I managed to find quite a few of my liked songs by using this method.
Next month I will be back in the Netherlands and back to the routine I know too well. That also means I can get back to creating more regularly. I have quite a few plans and would love to see them through, but that means a lot of hard work and perseverance. Along the journey, I would like to share the ups and downs, in case it is helpful for anyone else out there. Until then, take care and I will see you soon ✨🌿